Vipassanā - the entitled space

Vipassanā is a very ancient technique to see the final reality, our true nature. This method was preserved in Burma directly through the teachings of Buddha Śākyamuni, and kept on transmitted by a chain of teachers. Our indirect teacher was Satya Narayan Goenka who learned from Sayagyi U Ba Khin. As he has passed away in 2013, we indirectly listened to his speeches during meditation. We heard Pāli chanting during the breaks, and a compilation of sūttas were provided for everyone in a chosen language in the evenings.

Dedicated to all my teachers in the Kṛṣṇamācārya Yoga Mandiram, to Tibor Körtvélyesi, Zsuzsa Tóth, Veronika Máthé, and Dr Judit Fehér, who is unfortunately not with us anymore. They always encouraged us to learn and grow, develop in all forms.

Preparations for a 10 day course

The Vipassana center I has been established in a small Tamil village, Perumbakkam, close to Tiruvannamalai. One can even see the mountain, although no one is supposed to look up for 10 days. There are strict rules of the attendance, as the center is an organic self-providing ecofarm itself. Thus the building was built on local giant rocks, using the local soil and natural materials, even the road was shaping out in front of our eyes...

All waste water is circulated, so even medicine usage is limited. Energy comes from sun collectors, water is hot only if the sun heats it up in the barrels on the roof..

For these reasons only natural cosmetics, no food, no electronic tools, or any entertainment can be taken inside; photos, phone calls, any connection with the outer world is cut for 10 days. I was also personally recommended to forget sathipatthána we have practiced at the Buddhist College, it's a completely new one. I felt as continuation.

It was also useful to understand what Goenka Jí is talking about in Pāli, so this was the time for me to solve the puzzle, how did bhikkhús live in those amazing buddhist caves of Maharashtra - practically.

On the Zero-day we made a wow to keep the five precepts (pañcaśīla), and started the entire period of silence. These precepts are to abstain from: killing, stealing, lies, abstain from all sexual activity and intoxicants. Later in January in Pune as an old student I kept 3 more points:

• to abstain from eating after midday

• to abstain from sensual entertainment and bodily decorations

• to abstain from using high or luxurious beds (this we mastered already here)

Let me quote from one of the participant, Priya's blog why is it not a relaxing retreat:

"For those considering to do this program, one must understand it is not a retreat. By far, it might be one of the most challenging acts, you might have encountered. To constantly watch one’s mind also means to deal with the monsters we have created in our minds. At the end of the program one will experience a certain relief, restoration and feel purified, but all of this only if one put’s in determined efforts. There are bound to be times, when we feel like running away, but the secret is to hold on."

Let the journey begin...

The first few days we got accommodated. After the 4 am gong sound group-sittings in the assembly hall, breaks and short food breaks changed one another each day. Evening time we had 60-90 minutes lecture by Venerable Goenka. Something definitely a visitor has to experience is the daily rituals of food, housework and sleeping. Full of narratives. Because of the scenario and the lack of comfort zone, the mind was quite agitated at the beginning. It is a heavy task to separate the mind functions from kleshas, but it also helps to keep one's attention sharp, work on more. We had issues mostly around water, and keep our hair in a good condition - and that explained a lot again of the monasteric life.

Silence and sounds soon became great mirrors. Morning gong was one of my favorite tool. Silence was rather a healing friend, nothing false, nothing over-thought or artificial, always showing the current state of mind, presence or the lack of consciousness. Mornings were relatively easier. We received exact instructions regarding attention, breath, body. Also we could exchange short conversations with the teacher about our experiences, or ask questions privately if we needed so. Taking some of these opportunities I started to realize what are the obstacles of conceptualization, how simple it looks, and how difficult it is... Very-very demanding for both the teacher and the students, so I would recommend to ask only if you really have a question, and rather about the method - well.. that mirror in the mirror is still the mind, the practice itself... You will see such tricks and cheats done by your manas (cognitive mind) you would not believe. I guess lectures in English, Pāli and Tamil were also demanding (observed how strange that Tamil language has the intonation of Japanese).

Inner space

By the 3rd day we went deeper and started to wander all across patterns. I was so glad that we studied basic Pāli texts more than 10 years ago, so I mean for this huge span of time, because this way they could help coming up to the surface instead of being lined up on the surface making unnecessary connections or floating as a net and being an obstacle keeping me there. Getting into the altered state of mind of meditation I could see the seeds of karma, Brahmajála, the speech of fire, the good and bad roots, ripening of karma, constant formation and multiplication. It was a beautiful and intense experience to realise, that ...

... all the synonimes Lord Buddha has ever used are the pure nature of the mind - your words and speach itself shows your mind.

What gives the wonderful opportunity of healing process here is the "entitled space", as you dedicate this entire time for this. While the minutes of our lifetime are decided in a predetermined and subordinate manner, we can devote ourselves to practice and meditation without all sorts of spiritual mischief and gross excuse. So we get a free hand to see our consciousness safely in the midst of calmness and silence - without becoming guilty for any impurities found there, without any kind of mental manipulation or spiritual bypassing - as no need to protect the mind, they all cease. We are safe here.

Goenka's speeches were so beautiful dhamma talks - 1st time of my life I could hear linear dhamma talk in Páli compiled in a logical and knowledgeable way based on practice. Bhikhu Bodhi's all books are also recommended.

Burning the seeds

The karmic seeds that have been planted by avidyā (ignorance) in the past, can be removed by tapas (penance), but this process might leads to endless rebirths again, and it makes sense only if you decide not to create new karma. This is where the applicability of modern yoga starts, and this is the necessity that implicates to make regular cleaning by Vipassanā - or advanced retreats, after you made your practice to become a daily habit. (The trick - learn what is not worth of your time and use that time for practice.)

I was aware of tapas (and believed I did practice to perform), but honestly, that was really nothing compared to this. Sitting for hours under the hot roof of Tamil-Nádu for a Europoid is demanding. Fans worked most of the time. We sat, at the beginning trying not to move, later sitting still focusing the mind on the breath. During Vipassana any sensation is possible. One by one everyone felt choking, strong heartbeat, fainting, all type of pain in the joints, muscles, bones. All type of emotions. But that is why breathing and taking on the sandals of equanimity is essential. I felt release in waves, whenever I placed acceptance, and breathed out what was unnecesary. Sitting long recalled old memories of morning Satipatthāna classes back in home, and 3-4 day retreats - but then stages came when inner heat was stronger than the outer... so that is tapas.. my country's climate is slowly suited to the same.

During these days we faced the constant presence of death in life. If you ever had an experience being very close to your own death, than it will not hit you (also possible that it comes up as a copy pattern of that experience). We could smell smoke brought from the village by the wind quite often; it was hot; we became enervated; so sometimes I felt like walking on a graveyard as Lord Buddha and his disciples did in Dhammapada. Last day (or perhaps the last two days) we could meditate in the small pagoda's meditation cells. As the bricks were radiating the heat, inner and outer heat was agonizing. We were not supposed to use yogic techniques - such as śītalī prāṇāyāma. Realizing that I am actually subordinated to this has led to a strange dissolution. Mixed with fatigue it stimulated laughter sometimes. As I was watching the show - was aware at the same time, it's just the building and the doors of perception, so there was a constant gratitude in me that the body could handle, and eventually being grateful to be alive at all. Seeing your mortality - and all the related fears - is quite useful. It is called maraṇasati in Pāli.

At the end we were allowed to make some pictures.

Release or captivity?

On the evening of the 10th day we could start communicating via words. Beautiful discussions started from our experiences, possible forms of sustainable and conscious life styles in unity with nature. We saw the dilemmas of everyday life sharply. Let's take ahinsá for instance: one evening a #scorpion was crossing the walking path exactly when went to meditate, and it was immediately beaten to death by one of the girls. She screamed, jumped, and struck down. Not even a hesitation.

Similarly toxicants - coffee has nothing to do with being "aware" nor does black tea, however we could see the difference of eating whole-plant diet.

I eventually understood, that it's an illusion to believe that we don't live "in" nature - as our mind is nature too... only urban life became ignorant and disconnected from this inconvenient fact.

Our small group was actually full of awaken joginīs and rishinīs - I like Tamil people naturally, their culture is so ancient. With the ladies we started to intertwine our near-future plans. Future suddenly opened up like a new dimension after being present.

We organized drives back to town, and planned to visit Auroville, Pondicherry, and other places together.

Pics from the second course.

We discussed the objects of clinging - food, attachment for sensory objects, the illusionary labyrinth of the mind. Being aware by the attention of the mind is not at all being excited by caffein to be productive for a corp (Matrix, how we became slaves by ourselves, there is a whole industry behind).

We all had drop-out experiences by memory. For me the greatest fata morgana was homesickness. Spotted. The most beautiful surprise was how I managed to leave monstrous people behind, not even a face or voice came up. However other kind of memories came back. I was a bit sad, that this focus will hold on short before we fall asleep again into the false every-day reality.

It was great to picture old Indian buddhism, how monks were protected from the heat, but their simplified lifestyle of begging alms once a day, and possessing only 8 objects allowed them undisturbed practice. It would be challenging for us: they could have a robe (three pieces of fabric), a begging bowl, girdle, water-filter, a needle to repair their robe, and a razor to shave their head.) This and the percepts recall yama-niyama.

But be aware, theravāda countries such as Sri Lanka,were never monastic as for the whole of society - only part of the society made this decision – lay follower Buddhists lived a normal family life. Still today they keep uposatha by new moon and full moon: people meditate and revise Buddha's teachings keeping 5 or 8 percepts.

Falling asleep again...

I am released by Buddha's teachings again and again - such a natural miracle we had him on this planet, and all the Theras who inherited Dhamma to us. You can always apply for a 10 day course anywhere in the world on Dhamma.org. The courses are run by donations.

Back home this was the unintentional look of my hair. Unbinding the dreadlocks Dhammapada came to my mind..

Not by wearing matted hair, nor by lineage, nor by caste, does one become a brāhmana; only he who realizes the Truth and the Dhamma is pure; he is a brāhmana.

Buddha Śākyamuni intensified a heavy change in Indian society during his time, that is why many scholar think of him as a social reformer. Later he became ranked into Viṣṇu's ten descends as the 9th avatār. It tells much about Indian spiritual evolution, and the constant awareness of Oneness, ekatā.

others' experiences:

Priya's blog

Blog by Prasanna